Pain

Fact: Ppl grows and need the company of the special one.

Y cant my parents juz accept the fact tt i'm growing up and need the special one?Y cant they?I'm under tons of stress...i noe i'm not as obedient as my bro...i'm not as good as wat u ppl may tink but i'm who i'm...

My mom love to scold my dear too when she scold mi and in fact,she has nvr seen him b4...can she dun come to a conclusion juz lik tis,sayin tt he's bad?Who is bad in the 1st place?no one is to mi...everyone is nice...is juz how others tink...My father was nvr saying anything but i noe deep down he hate mi having bf tons...i can feel tt...

I'm feeling damn stress up over matters,my sch work,my love life and my family life...stress...if u tink i dun look lik when u saw mi,u r wrong...have been attempt to cut myself again which i promise my dear not to...i'm sorry my dear...try not to hurt myself when i'm stress up...i dunno y...but i simply cant stop all tt...banging my head against the table top...cutting myself using anything sharp...scratch myself till red...bite myself...i feel a sense of relieve rite after all tt...i dunno y...i tried to stop...but i cant...

i envy those happily in love and got the blessings from their parents de couples...how much i hope i could be them...most of my mates can go out till late and even go out when it is late...but mi,i have to reach hm by 10pm no matter wat...simply hate tt...

I'm starting to hate sch...goin to sch is juz a hard work for mi...recently,faisal and edward is considering withdrawin...which make mi tink alot abt my future in IT...hmm,i guess i'll juz hang on 1st...dear ask mi not to quit now...coz i only have o lvl cert...nth much i can do out dere...so juz hang on ba...i was tinkin oso no harm having one more diploma ma...if i can cont study then study loh...if cant(fail uwos again),then i tink i'll go work le ba...no money pay private de sch fees...

Sometimes i really wonder am i make of water or wat...i simply got tons of tears to shed...i shed my tears every now and then...even when i'm bloggin now,i cried...

Thanks dear for being wif mi always..cheerin mi up even when i throw temper on u....thank u lots...i love u lots...

Gtg...will blog again...