feeling down

Feeling bloody down now...so fan...sigh...am i always such a failure?such a irratting person?I duno...i really duno...i really lost tons of things i got thru out e yrs...all those impt ones...

frenz?maybe...i nvr got to have them wif mi deep and down...no one really can share how i feel always...maybe is my fault for not opening up to tok to them...sometimes i really wanna tok to them...but i duno how to...sigh...tt's so mi k?Sigh...even my dear i seldom tok to him about some things...

My passion for dance?i really tink i lost it...i used to love dance alot alot...always dancing away at home or during practice...but now...i dun have e courage to go back into it anymore...though i still miss those days...performing on stage...sigh...

readin?used to love readin chinese novels under e influence of sann...now...i dun have e time to read anymore...not tt i'm so busy or wat...juz...i dun have e feelings to read anymore...hai...wat's going on wif mi?

making accessories?handicrafts?i'm still loving tis now...from young,i love handicrafts...be it making cards,name tag or accessories...i love it alot alot...but maybe soon,i'll lost e feeling of doing it again...i duno y...sigh...

recently i'm veri into doing small business...i see tis as a hobby more than doing business...but ...sometimes...some things really make mi feel so down...feel so useless again...sigh...making mi dropping e idea of doing business already...sigh...

my studies?is it totally my fault for not passing e exams well?did i make a wrong decision again for not trying my best to go back?should i go to NIE?Should i apply in e 1st place?should i?Or shld i juz cont find work and stud part time?I REALLY DUNO!!~Sigh...

Wo zhen de dui sheng huo hao lei hao lei...really veri tired of my life...my life now is juz to grow up,earn money,get married ba...i oso duno...sigh...really hao fan hao fan...been crying again...

i hate myself alot alot...i really hate myself...last time i was lik tt too...but coz of ting,she make mi noe e imptance of loving myself coz i'm special...and making mi have e courage to love someone else...but now,i've go back into my usual self...hating myself...sigh...

i wanna learn alot of things...lik manicure,swimming...i wanna do many many things...but simply i cant...sigh...y?Y when i wanna do something i cant?Y muz i do things i dun lik?Y?

To my love...
i love u lots lots...i really do...
sometimes i maybe be a little over stubborn over things...
tt's mi...from young...i've always been tryin to change...but...i juz fail again and again...
sorry my love...for making cracks in our love again and again...sorry...

I'll nvr forget wat i've done...i'll nvr forgive myself too...

Princess Minn