Bloggin alone at home...
I'm back from ice cream outing wif mao lao da,who noe and west spec...
Darling cant wake up so cant join us...
I reach home aro 6pm and i'm at home from then till now...
Guess will be at home till mon le ba...
Juz nw sms aiai and she haven reply mi since i went to zzz...
oh well,my r/s wif her is turning veri bad...
Last time she'll still sms mi,call mi as and when to chat...
but now...oh well...
shall not say much...
feel kind of hurt by it...Sigh...
These few weeks has been lik tis...
My fri,sat and sun nite are spend alone at home...
is either my parents and bro are out or i dun have anything on at all...
No one ask mi out or anything...
I do hate tt feeling of being left out...
Being left alone lik shit...
Hai...I noe ppl in sbf kind of dun lik mi ba...
Coz i always need ppl to pillon mi...
I noe tt...
I can feel tt...
Truely i can feel...
How much i wish i could get my lic & my bike now...
But xin you er li bu zu...
Understand tt?
Oh well,no one will...
Tt feeling sucks...
I've been missing vanessa lots...
On thurs,i actually need to go and see her...
but she is not having clinic...
I was suggested by central appt to go to A&E...
I wanted to after smsin so many ppl...
Somehow informing them tt i'm not in e rite mode at tt time...
but no one seems to care at all...
No one...
End up i din go A&E...
I did silly things alone...Alone...
E feeling of being drain dry is dere...
E feeling totally sucks...IT SUCKS...
Being left alone shld be something i'm used to...
since young,i'm always doing things alone...
be it in sch work...
or out for shopping or watever other things...
but recently i really cant take it any longer...
I've e fear of being alone already...
Once i'm alone,my mind start flying all over e places and tink alot...
I fear being alone...
E fear of being alone is scary...
Being alone means alot of things...
I might start doing silly things again...
Which i always does...Sigh...
I really cant help it and do all tt...
E pain in mi...
E feeling of lost...
E hurt...I
s dere anything happy i can tink of to make my life much more happier?
I dun tink so...
I dun feel dere is anything happy in my life anymore...
Sigh...
Maybe ppl will tink i'm making myself being alone...
but am i really doing tt?
I dun tink so...
I join frenz in outings whenever i can...
Whenever dere is ppl willing to pillon mi...
I also make an effort to organise outings...
which i'll not do it anymore...
Will wait till at least i get my lic ba...
Being alone is really nth...
Zhen de hao lei...
Dui you zhe ge shi jie...
Wo zhen de lei le...
Dere are times whereby i really feel being alone...
I dun have to hide away or off my phone juz to run away from tis stupid world...
Coz no one will sms or call mi anyway...
Sometimes i'm really glad tt ppl do sms/call mi and ask mi things...
Such a simple sms can really make my day much more happier...
But who really noe tt?I wonder...
Juz wanna be loved and cared lots...
To be cont...
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