Mi,MySeLf&MyLiFe!!!

Bloggin wif a mind full of tots and my heart hurts…
For e past 6 months…
I learn so much…
I feel I grow up a lot…
But again,
Maybe not…

On sat nite…
Sumthing happen which I nvr had ever tot of happen...
My mood from tt day on was worsen…
Seems lik I lost 2 gd sisters…
Tt type of hurt and pain is terrible…
Is tt 2 girls tt make mi really realize I dun nd any guys’ love 2 make my life happier…
Is tt 2 girls tt share my ups & downs these 6months…
Is tt 2 girls tt been wif mi all these while…
1 is my aiai,my long lost sister…
1 is my darling,my long lost senior…
Wat shld I do to mayb make myself feel better?
I duno…
I really duno…

Thru out these 6months…
So many things happen…
If not for him,
I’ll not have noe my aiai and darling…
If not for aiai,
I cant be having e life I’m having now…
If not for darling,
I really would have cry till I die sometimes…
I really miss those days whereby 3 of us are happily going out tog…
But I guess it will nvr happen again…
Sigh…
if not for aiai,
I wouldn’t have start loving e speed of riding…
Making mi having e tot of learning other classes of bikes…
If not for darling…
I wouldn’t have noe tt girls can be more independent than guys does…
A girl could work darn hard for her own bike…
I noe both of them have a hard time asking to go for my class 2b lessons…
But still I enjoy letting them asking mi to go…
I love both of them lots…
Or shld I say tons?
Is them tt make mi feel e importance of frenzship and really feel e link btw my heart and theirs…
My heart and their hearts seems to be really linked up…
No matter wat rubbish I tok abt,
They’ll understand it w/o mi having to say much…
I’m really really glad tt I noe e 2 of them…
Feel blessed being able to become their good sisters…
But oso coz of tis,
I’m really down seeing both of them lik tis…
It really hurts my heart alot alot alot…
Being controlling my tears hard,
As I cant cry tt much anymore…
If not I guess,
I’ll really turn blind…

I’ll be going MIA from them already…
Somehow I really feel I lost e 2 of them…
2 of them totally…
E feeling is not e same as b4 le…
E link btw mi and them is not e same as b4 anymore…
I really duno how shld I settle all these mixture of feelings…
My 2 dearest lovers,aiai & darling…
If u girls happen to read tis,
I noe nth I do can change anything…
But really wish one day,
All of us can be happily tog again…
Noeing u 2 is really e happiest thing tt happen for mi…
U 2 really r my loved ones…
E 2 girls tt I’ll really worry abt,esp darling…
E 2 girls tt can really make mi laugh and smile from my heart…
E 2 girls tt I only listen to,esp aiai…
E 2 girls tt I love so much…
I always believe able to noe each other is really fated…
E fate btw us is really true and special…

To aiai,
U r e only gf tt I really will listen to…
Share so many common things wif u...
Be it anything…
E link btw us is really difficult to find…
U r my 1st female rider…
My one and only female rider till now…
Coz of u,
I start loving e speed of riding…
E one and only gf tt will call and chat wif mi everyday…
Really make mi feel less lonely…
Loving ya lots always…

To darling,
I love ya lots…
Is kind of concidence tt we noe each other again…
Well,
We might not noe each other in sec sch life…
But is fate tt bring us tog again…
Still rmb those days tt I’ll sms u always to chat during ur smoke break…
Rmb those days when I’ll go down to jp to have fluffy make by u…
Really miss those days…
Sitting dere drinking e fluffy u make for mi really make mi feel occupied…

No matter my 2 dearest lovers,
I’ll love u girls lots forever…
=)
If I dun love u 2 girls,
I wouldn’t have rush down on sat nite already…

To tt someone out dere,
Thanks to u,
Our sistership has chg totally…
All thanks to u…
Seeing u,
Really make mi feel lik bashing u up…
Although I noe nth I do can chg anything rite now…
If u feel good tt our sistership has chg,
One day believe mi,I’ll make ur life become miserable…
Trust mi…

Been really going thru lots of things recently…So many things has been going on in my life…
Juz one word to explain y all these happen : LOVE…
Indeed I’m troubled by tis word too…
LOVE…Wat does it really mean?
I duno…
All I noe is I’m veri troubled by tis word…
I long guys’ love for mi…
Someone true and real to mi…
Someone tt I’ll love truly and love truly…
But who dun?I believe both my aiai and darling long for tt too…
I’m really veri troubled by tis…
So many guys entering my life after tt day…
Kind of tired of all these le…
Maybe I shld declare to everyone tt I’m a les…
And maybe I’ll get lesser of all these…

2guys in my life tt I’ll nvr love at all…
U shld noe who u r…
To mi,
Both of u is juz big bros to mi…
Big bros juz lik how ah kor, Stanley is to mi…
Really do enjoy sitting both of ur bikes to go tour aro…
Really enjoy it…
If by sitting on both of ur bikes gave u guys wrong info,
I’m really sorry…
Guys to mi in sbf are really juz lik big bros to mi…
Big bros tt I can rely on each time I go out and no fear of being bullied by other ppl…

I’ll work hard for my bike license and my bike…
One day,
I’ll be able to ride on my own bike and not rely on anyone cozing so many things…
So much troubles for so many ppl…
Sincerely apologies for all these…

My heart is somehow failing mi again…
E pain in my heart is dere again…
Tt kind of hurtfulness I used to have is back again…
I dun really eat much nowadays…Food kind of sick for my mouth already…
E feeling of wanting to vomit is dere again…
Really fear of tt feeling again…
I dun wanna get back to who I was in e past…
Pls no…

Always had tt feeling of wanting to cry…
But I’ve been controlling my tears hard…
I guess I cant cry anymore…
If I cont crying tt hard everyday,
I guess I’ll turn blind in no time…

I really dun wan become how I was lik b4…E girl who cut herself wif e one and only penknife she have,
E girl who scratches herself till hands all turn red and sore,
E girl who bite herself till all red,
E girl who hide herself somewhere where no one noe…
But I noe,
I’m returning back in again…
Sigh…
If only I can end all these…
Sigh…

I noe I’ve been neglecting lots of my frenz recently…
RJ & Gang…
My 3 sunshines,
And lots of other ppl…
I’ll try my best to make it up…

I’m tried from work le…
Eyes are closing already…
Having headache le…
Tata…With lots of love,
Princess Minn…