The Forgotten.

I guess GOD really forgot abt my existence.
Y did GOD created mi and forgot abt giving mi forever happiness?
Y did GOD created mi and is only giving mi forever hurts?
Y did GOD created mi and forgot abt I need ppl's love as well?
Y GOD duno tt i dun need pains and hurts?
Y GOD duno tt i need ppl's love for mi wholeheartedly?
Y GOD duno tt i need happiness?

Y MUZ GOD FORGET ABT GIVING MI HAPPINESS?

Frm e day i'm born till now,
nothing in my life has a happiness tt last.
From young till now,
I did get some family love,
but oso i got alot of pains from tis house which make mi fears.
Lots of caning and beat up from young.
Happiness was mininium.
But I was a brave little girl back then.
I stood up and move on wif my life,
tinking tt it'll be better.
Tt's my childhood.

I moved on,
spending my pri sch and sec sch life happily.
It was such a enjoyable period of time in my life.

When I get older,
fall in love for e 1st time,
more hurts and pains start to come in.
1st love hurts mi most and gave mi lots of pains.
Till now,
e pain is still unbearable.
But as long as he is happy and soaking in happiness now,
tt's good enuf.
I was brave and move on,
tinking tt e next one would be better.

2nd love,
I tot it will be lasting.
He gave mi lots of happy moments,
but e sad ones are as much.
I tot he is e one for mi.
E one tt can make mi be e most happy woman in e world.
but i was wrong.
It was all my faults,
all my faults of being myself.
I forced myself to move on,
I did.
Forgot abt e sad moments and of coz,
the happy ones too.

3rd love,
simple yet complicated one.
I tot he could love mi for who i'm.
Love mi for who i'm and nvr break any promises given to mi by him.
I trusted lots in him,
did so much changes to myself,
wanting to prove tt i'm e one for him.
I guess i was wrong.
He wanted mi to be myself,
but yet he cant love mi for who i'm.
Sigh.
Is all my faults for being myself.
Is all my faults.

I still get happiness in my life,
but y are they all short ones and nvr last?
Y are happiness given to mi as much as e pains are?
Din I do enuf to own some long lasting happiness?

I'm really contented wif my current life,
simple but yet enjoyable,
but I really need someone to be dere to share all my ups and downs.
Is painful to fight a lonely war.
It is so lonely to fight a war on my own.
Simple love but yet lasting one is wat i long for.
But can i get it?

Everyone is telling mi not to tink so much,
but can I?
I dun tink so.
I'm trying hard not to tink so much.
Really trying v hard not to tink so much.
Trying as hard to change as well,
but can anyone sees it?
I doubt so.

My changes,
no one seems to see it.
I really tried so hard,
so hard to change into a better person.

Pains juz keep haunting mi,
pestering mi every single day.
I tried to throw everything behind.
I did it,
but it will juz come back again.
Sigh.

I tink I'm destined to be alone forever,
but I really bu gan yuan tt I cant have my destined love for my ownself.
Sigh.

Who dun love a smiling mi?
I love myself alot when I smile too.
Alot ppl told mi I look beautiful when I smile.
But often,
my loved ones will often(always) forget tt is them who coz mi to be sad and frown.
Weird rite?
But tt's e fact.

Wondering would I be happy?
Would I get my happiness?
Who would be e one for mi?
Who would be e one tt love mi for who I'm truthfully?
Who would be e one to share all my ups and downs?
Who would be e one to understand mi?
Who would be e one?
Sigh.

I'll try to pick myself up and move on.
Moving on alone again is hard.
But I'll try.
Hope I'll success.

Time to go rest on my bed.
I guess I cant slp well tonite again.
Tata all.